Saturday, July 16, 2011

Movies: the only reason to even own a television anymore

I have a desire.

It is an intense desire.

Whenever I think about it, I get all tingly in my girly places.

I want a theater room.


I first realized how badly I wanted one when I watched an episode of "Man Caves".  This particular episode involved the "makeover" crew creating a theater room in this family's basement.  I drooled.  A lot.  It was supposed to be His Room.  No wife allowed.  I'm guessing if he felt the need to build such a space then he had a reason.  His wife was probably like my mother who can't sit still at all during a movie.  Half the time we don't even know for sure she knows what's going on.  It can be annoying to the other movie watchers.  Either way, all I could say was, "Fuck that on a piece of toast!  That room would be mine!"  I would have to go all "Mission: Impossible" on that.

Ever since then, I have obsessed over having a movie room.

The original plan was to turn the sun room into a theater room.  I intend to go through with that plan although it depends on surmounting a lot of current hurdles, which could put the actual date of completion around three days before my 115th birthday.  But, hey, we all have goals.

One of the many reasons I want a home theater is that I really don't like the actual movie experience these days.  It has improved what with our local Rave theater cracking down on stupid kids in movies they have no business being in, having patrolling ushers, and actually following through on their threats, but it's so damn expensive to go to the theater these days.  I used to go to the movies probably several times a month.  Nowadays, I choose maybe five or six movies a year usually opting to wait until they come out on Blu-Ray.  There is always one asshole who can't leave his damn phone alone, and it's just not worth it for $10 a ticket.

(The only real reason to go to the theater is to experience those few movies that actually benefit from 3D.  Other than that, I can make my own popcorn, thank you.)

Still, I love movies.  A friend and I have said for years we should write a movie review blog.

Don't roll your damn eyes at me in that tone of voice!  We like horror and silents and classics and fantasy and things the explode!  Okay, sure, we would let our girly show sometimes, but you can suck it up because you can rest assured no Sandra Bullock would cross our blog unless she was trussed up in chains, tar, and feathers!  (If you pull out rule 34, I will wish fiery death upon you.)

Anyway, I still try to keep up with what's coming out.  My usual haunt is Apple Trailers since I can watch the trailers in HD.  Rotten Tomatoes is another one I like to wander through, and they have the distinction of my trust when it comes to reviews.  (Rule of thumb for me is if it's at least 45% fresh, then there's a good chance I'll find something to like.  Anything below that and I'll be drilling holes in the sides of my head to remove the memories.)

So, why am I posting all this as if you give a shit?  Well, because I have just discovered a movie that I can't believe a freakin' missed, and you will be hearing about it.  


Nothing makes me happier than a good old fashioned bump-in-the-night, shivers-in-the-spine, brain-shuddering horror film, and this one has some serious potential.

I will report back once I've witnessed it.

I'm hoping it will be added to my arsenal of movies to prepare me for the coming Halloween season.

And, I refuse to look at the countdown in my sidebar...

Speaking of Apple Trailers, what the hell is with Google Chrome?  Everytime I try to download a trailer, it gives me shrieks and hides under the desk refusing to actually open the file.  Firefox, however, has no issues.  Dammit, Google, you are better than this!  Fix it!

No comments: